So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Someone signed my nipple.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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