Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
