she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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