Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
