Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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