there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
