And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
