he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize