Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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