so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
