so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
