didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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