this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was CRYING into my vagina
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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