You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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