Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize