I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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