he puts the penis in happiness.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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