You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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