you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
