I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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