Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
