Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
