i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
