I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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