I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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