I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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