white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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