I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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