Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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