just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize