i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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