You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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