There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
