Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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