it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
