My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize