Whoa Z and x make the same sound
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
