They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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