He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
