it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
