let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Boobs speak an international language.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
