yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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