I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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