She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
