he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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