The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
