I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
