chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
