there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
