Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize