he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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