I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize