I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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