Where is the hickey?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize