Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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