I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
