Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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