If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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