So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she peed on how many people?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
