I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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