i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
