As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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