God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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