True but thats because hes a fetus.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
